10.txt

1. Proposal number
10

2. Should this proposal be considered for the Best Proposal prize? (yes/no)
yes

3. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the overall organization/clarity
of the proposal? (1-10)
9

4. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the overall project idea? (1-10)
10

COMMENTS

* Overall, is the proposal clear, concise, and well-organized?
The authors appear to be familiar with the way to write for publication and it came out in the clearity and organization of the proposal.

* Does the proposal meet the posted proposal guidelines?
The two columsn was an interesting choice. For the purposes of a proposal, this actually made it harder to review; however, the two column approach used made this work appear as
though it was ready for press.

* How does the project idea fit within the framework of Developmental Robotics?
Embodiment is an important concept in developmental robotics. If the out of body experience can be substantially recreated artifically using these apparatus then it would lend
credibility to the ability to create a self-developing A.I. Having said this, something like this needs to be stated in the introduction to more clearly link this project to the
field of developmental robotics. Once this is intially stated then, in the conclusion and significance sections of the final report, the authors could discuss the ramifications
for the field of developmental robotics.

* Describe what you like BEST about the project idea.
I like that the authors are reproducing previous experimentatal results using this new apparatus FIRST. This will lend serious credibility to any findings that they come up with
extending the nature of the OBE beyond previous fidnings. I am interested in the results of this experiment.

* Describe what you like LEAST about the project idea.
It is going to be difficult to tie four seperate experiments together into a cohesive paper. Results from all four separate experiments may be difficult to compare and contrast.
It may be a better idea to focus upon one of the experiments and then examine parameter optimization for creating an artificail OBE.

* Do you have any concerns about the project?
The motivation section should cite prevoius works when explaining justificaiton for the experiment: "(OBE) have been recorded by researchers and described as an experience that
involves observing one self's physical body from a third person perspective."

* Does it seem doable in the remaining time?
Initially, this was my biggest concern for this project. The Gantt chart provided makes clear to the reader what will be accomplished and when. This organizational detail gave me
confidence that this project was doable given the timeframe allotted.

* Does it seem too difficult?
I was also concerned about the difficulty of this project idea. The claims being examined by this project are substantial. However, the proposal showed expertise in the area and
made me believe they could accomplish this task as stated.

* Are there any major details left out?
Yes, the biggest detail that appears to be ignored is how to handle participants. Participants, when induced with an OBE could have a potential to be psychologically stressed.
Although this is a decision for the IRB, I would recommend having clearly stated and defined debriefing procedures for participants.

* Does the idea rely upon technologies that are not currently available?
No, the authors clearly state the technologies needed in a materials list and the methods are either drawn from previous papers or explicitly stated.

* Do you have any suggestions for improvement?
See below.

* Do you have any suggestions for related work that should be cited?
There is a plethora of work from psychology and philosophy I am aware of that could be used to bolster the introduction. The out of body experience is a topic that has not been
directly examined recently, but was a subject of substantial hype about 100 years ago. Recently, neuroscience has been struggling to explain exactly what might be happening during
an OBE. These might be interesting elements to include in the final report.

* Any other comments or suggestions?
The two-column layout is nice for keeping text concise, but it should be abanodoned for showing figures (such as Figure 3) which would benefit from horizontal arrangement across
both columns.